Number of times I’ve moved in the last nine years: 21

Number of jobs I’ve had in the same time period: 12

Number of jobs I’ve abruptly walked out on: 3

Number of girlfriends I’ve had: 7

Number of girlfriends I’m still friends with: 1

Number of times I’ve attempted college: 3

Number of times I’ve dropped out: 3

Number of medications we’ve tried: 9

Number of times I’ve gone unmedicated abruptly: 4

Number of times that was a terrible idea: 4

Number of clues I have about what I’m doing: 0